Valentine's Day Gifts for HIM ...

Ladies (or men LOVE WINS ) Valentine season is here and I know you're probably thinking about what you're going to wear, where your guy may be taking you, or what gift you may be getting.

Thought about your gift to him yet? Lol, Don't look at the screen crazy.

You saw right sis.

Did you think about your gift to him?

Disclaimer:: To the people who feel as though this day doesn't matter ... I respectfully understand, but click off the post lol. To the people who feel the need to say,"This day isn't a big deal. You should treat your loved ones right every day". I agree BUT we should eat every day yet we make the genocide holiday, Thanksgiving, a big deal too. I'm single ;( but I'm not a negative nancy to the ones who do want to celebrate this. So don't rain on anyone's parade. Mkay?

I believe that although this holiday is geared towards women by default, we should show appreciation to the guys holding us down too. I thought it was actually normal to buy or do things for guys in our lives as well; turns out not too many women do so. I actually even get my five year old son something just so he knows he is also supposed to get treated nicely.

I asked a few men I know what they thought of Valentine's day. The majority said they didn't care for it, then further broke down that it's because they don't feel celebrated. I understand. Even on Father's Day, it's not really a big deal. Unfortunately everyone usually only makes a fuss about Mother's Day.

I just think that if you appreciate someone, show them all the time, as well as little holidays that may or may not matter to you.

Be the reason someone smiles.

Gift ideas for the special guy in your life:

A massage. They work hard, they deserve to unwind as well.

YOU can plan a nice little getaway for you two. Obviously, this probably takes more planning than a week or two but you gotta prepare for him like how you expect him to prep for you.

Sex. Learn something new maybe, and be reallllllly into it. I hear the horror stories. Some of you have sex as if it's a chore. Yikes.Own your sexuality and ENJOY it sis.
A wise man once said, "You can do it, put your back into it." lmao.

Something you know he could use for his craft, hobby or hustle (legal ones only please). Support goes a long way. If he makes music help pay for studio time. If he writes, a fresh journal. Engraved drumsticks are dope for drummers. Be creative.

Tickets to a concert, comedy show, game or class THEY would like.
It's not ALWAYS about you baby girl.

If your guy likes to travel or plans to start, you can get a sturdy and stylish weekend bag. On top of that, you could also add toiletries or things you think he may need on the trip inside.
(Passport holder, body necessities, beard oil, headphones, travel pillow etc)

Throat. Seriously. Do it like you mean it. :)

Pay for dinner or cook HIS favorite meal. Especially if he did the most and made other plans for you two.  I think it's a good gesture and he would probably be shocked.

Watch.Wallet. Cologne.Liquor. Records and or Record Player.

 

With the wallet, I would slide a few dollars inside maybe for a haircut, or even a couple gift cards to places he likes in the slots.

My personal favorite gift to make anyone, male, female or even pet is a "care package". You can decorate them to look however you want on the inside & add items your S.O would like. I like to put candy/snacks, liquor, book, cologne, things I've mentioned above, a sexy pic or pair of undies to wear for him later .... I think you catch the drift. Anything you think your person would like, throw it in. I think it's cool because they get loads of different items that show you pay attention to them. 

One of my closest friends is going to hate me for this but I think adding underwear or socks to the box is cool. I know its common but SHRUGS lmao. Who wouldn't want new undies?

I also like making cards on walgreens.com or finding greeting cards from Etsy .
Throwing in a picture of you two never hurt either.

Just be open-minded, positive and thoughtful in this process. I'm not saying to break the bank or go beyond your means. If your guy is worth it then show him on this day as well. If you're thinking that your man isn't worthy of getting treated well then why are you there?  

 I'm a natural giver and have been way too nice to unappreciative people.I'm not saying to be a fool like I was and to just give to people you think take you for granted. I smartened up in that way but I definitely don't let past idiots deter me from being who I am; genuine, loving or even hopeful lmfao. 

I'm saying to just be caring and giving in the same ways you would want someone to be caring /giving to you.

I just want us to do better. One post at a time.

If you have any suggestions leave them in the comments :) Thanks for reading.

I thought these cards were cute...

I have asthma so this one has me DEAD lmaoo

#DoBetter2018

A very talented light worker named @sirm00re on Ig wrote this well written letter to the "bros , & sistas if it applies" about what they should as well as shouldn't be doing in this new year , 2018. It's worth more than just a summary so it's posted below of course. Before you get to it though,a few things he mentioned are taking care of ALL your kids , hygeine (no one wants a dirtbag) ,taking care of mental health , dating tips etc . I REALLY appreciate post like this because it is literally putting the phrase "each one , teach one" to work . It's speaking up for what is right , knowing better to do/teach better, and holding people accountable for things we sometimes struggle with or just plain & simple don't want to face. 

Furthermore, it inspired me to write something to the ladies.

Wanna hear it ? Here it go.

Waves.

This isn't a serious post but I wanted to document these feelings so here they are ...

I realized long ago that I am not for every body. I understand that there are people I love and care about who aren't exactly on my wave length. Not that there's any thing wrong with their wave ,it just isn't the same as mine so instead of continuing to create storms between those people and I...I decided to create PEACE.   .

Some people are the waves that MIGHT come ashore and wet your sand castle. Although it took me awhile to really understand/accept this about myself ,I am more of a high tsunami wave.
See the diff ?

When all your life you know there's something different about you , but you surround yourself with people who are just into doing the norm, YOU BECOME THE NORM . No question. I would always go hard for people and the things they've wanted to do . I have people who care about  me but I felt I didn't really get the support I wanted or needed .

1) people don't really understand trying to create things unless they are creatives themselves so they knock it usually .
2) I didn't really believe in myself so if I didn't I couldn't really expect anyone else to do so. My bad.

You teach people how to treat you. I'm proof.

My older cousin "Jr" who is supportive of me creatively :),  as well as successfully doing things on his own, took me to Cracker Barrel this morning to talk about my goals and help me with ways to execute all the ideas I have in my mind. ALL 100000. We sat there for over an hour to talk about how I can become exactly what I want . I won't lie, part of the conversation scared me because I never in my life actually spoke about executing my ideas to someone. I usually tell people what I have in mind and people are usually against them, if I'm being quite honest, or there for them. Very refreshing to get motivation as well as tactics to grow.

I asked someone else who is successfully doing what he wants creatively if he had the same issues as far a having naysayers when he told them his ideas. He straight told me that he didn't tell anyone what he wanted to do until he actually did it. Once things were already happening ,no one around could deny how bomb it was. I think that is a genius approach to things.

Naturally we want to tell people what we are doing, and naturally if the people we look to the most for support disagrees or give negative input we shut down. Yes ,we deviate from things all the time but sometimes you just want certain people to be on board and when they're not, you sometimes stop unfortunately. I digress.

I wrote all of that to say I am proud of my growth , and realization this year. I am happy that I am finally  on the road to doing what I want to do . I'm ready to "fuck shit up" for lack of better words. I look forward to meeting more like minded people and being known for being exactly myself . People have been telling me I'm coming into my own . That may be true . I look at it a me just accepting my flaws and awkwardness and owning it . I'm happy for this journey.

Long ass blog for nothing. SHRUGS

I'm Thankful..

So today is Thanksgiving and of course the , "what are you thankful for?" question is in full effect. 

Mental Health is a joke..

It seems to me that mental health is currently on trend . Being who I am , and knowing how much I talk about that topic you would think I would be happy about this . I'm not . Here's why ....

Everywhere I turn around mental health seems to finally be the focus of things . I honestly hoped that this would happen some day, and part of me is still relieved that some sort of awareness is here . I just really can't fully be excited for it because people made it into a joke. Some people have chosen to use a very serious thing and turn it into just a phrase that will only benefit them when they choose to be vile , despicable , and just overall crummy . 

There are other people who have really fought long and hard to keep their mental diseases under control only for it to be diminished by people placing "mental health" on their b.s. I don't understand.

Having something wrong with you and just straight being a bad person or doing dumb things is on YOU . Also , if everyone wants to say that things are because of their mental health , why is NO ONE GETTING THE HELP THEY NEED TO DO BETTER? 

The world enjoys being "crazy" . There are some WHITE people out here blatantly being terrorist , rapist, and a whole slew of other negative things , yet the news would rather say that something was wrong with them when it's all said and done. Look, of course something is wrong with them .... YOU (meaning society). Society from the beginning of time have allowed WHITE people to do whatever it is that they wanted , no matter how reckless or cruel and still decided to do nothing except place blame on something else. Because there is nothing else left to blame white people's actions on, the thing to say now is mental health . Society has not held white people accountable for their stupid shit all these years so until that happens MORE STUPIDITY WILL HAPPEN , DUH.  (I singled out some white people because if someone of color did the things that these idiotic white people have done it damn sure wouldn't be a mental health thing AT ALL.

I can take this trend further...Some women love saying things that clearly express unhappiness, danger to themselves or others, being hot and cold (bi-polar), being extremely needy , etc. Instead of wanting to do better ,they somehow find manipulative ways to have people believe that all of these things are "just who they are" thus accepting their foolishness. Here's the thing about the people they're fooling . If YOU know that someone has things going on and you just chalk up their issues to being "who they are" , YOU ARE A PART OF THE PROBLEM. If you care about someone you can't just accept their crazy , bitterness , neediness , unhappiness , etc. You have to speak up and HELP THEM . 

PSA: Ladies , it is not okay to be a bitch . It is not okay to walk around mad as hell at the world with "resting bitch face" . Your face isn't resting anymore , YOU ARE THE BITCH at this point. I'm not even saying that you should only do better if you appear upset all the time. Even people with smiles can be condescending even if the surface seems okay. The moral of the story is if something is always wrong , find a way to get better.

[[Btw , sometimes helping those people means to do what you can and then care about them from a distance. You can not help someone who does not want to be helped. You also can not lose yourself on other people. Humans have a way of draining you to make themselves feel better. That's not how things should work but that's a topic for another blog.]]

I can't leave the guys out :) sooo yea , some guys blame their lack of communication as well as their disconnect from feelings on just "being a man." If that's what your image of being a man is then clearly you haven't been around a real man and certainly had no real MAN examples in your life. That's fine . I haven't had great examples for some things in life either. The difference is the work being done to change it .Once you see/feel the issue within , and stop lying to yourself enough to know that you're full of shit but still choose to use excuses , it's YOU. It's not okay to continue madness. SEEK HELP. 

I know there are more examples. I'd be here for another lifetime typing them out so that's a no.

When people CLEARLY can describe what's going on with them and still choose to be the same shitty person , at that point although there definitely is a mental health issue ,but you are definitely full of shit as well.

I won't rant much longer but I really am annoyed at how ridiculous things are when it comes to this . I actually suffered from Major Depression Disorder , and I actually put in the work that it took to fight that . Did research , went to therapy , found some sort of outlet , etc. Of course it wasn't easy but because for me it was a REAL issue , instead of just saying welp I'm fucked up because of my mental health I did/do whatever it took to get me better . I guess part of me is just offended that people just like to have some sort of crutch ; ALL THE TIME. 

People love to just be horrible people ,as well as complainers and have zero intention on working on themselves. Why? Again , if we see the people we claim to care about be a certain way ALL THE TIME, We have yo