This isn't a serious post but I wanted to document these feelings so here they are ...
I realized long ago that I am not for every body. I understand that there are people I love and care about who aren't exactly on my wave length. Not that there's any thing wrong with their wave ,it just isn't the same as mine so instead of continuing to create storms between those people and I...I decided to create PEACE. .
I realized long ago that I am not for every body. I understand that there are people I love and care about who aren't exactly on my wave length. Not that there's any thing wrong with their wave ,it just isn't the same as mine so instead of continuing to create storms between those people and I...I decided to create PEACE. .
Some people are the waves that MIGHT come ashore and wet your sand castle. Although it took me awhile to really understand/accept this about myself ,I am more of a high tsunami wave.
See the diff ?
When all your life you know there's something different about you , but you surround yourself with people who are just into doing the norm, YOU BECOME THE NORM . No question. I would always go hard for people and the things they've wanted to do . I have people who care about me but I felt I didn't really get the support I wanted or needed .
1) people don't really understand trying to create things unless they are creatives themselves so they knock it usually .
2) I didn't really believe in myself so if I didn't I couldn't really expect anyone else to do so. My bad.
You teach people how to treat you. I'm proof.
My older cousin "Jr" who is supportive of me creatively :), as well as successfully doing things on his own, took me to Cracker Barrel this morning to talk about my goals and help me with ways to execute all the ideas I have in my mind. ALL 100000. We sat there for over an hour to talk about how I can become exactly what I want . I won't lie, part of the conversation scared me because I never in my life actually spoke about executing my ideas to someone. I usually tell people what I have in mind and people are usually against them, if I'm being quite honest, or there for them. Very refreshing to get motivation as well as tactics to grow.
1) people don't really understand trying to create things unless they are creatives themselves so they knock it usually .
2) I didn't really believe in myself so if I didn't I couldn't really expect anyone else to do so. My bad.
You teach people how to treat you. I'm proof.
My older cousin "Jr" who is supportive of me creatively :), as well as successfully doing things on his own, took me to Cracker Barrel this morning to talk about my goals and help me with ways to execute all the ideas I have in my mind. ALL 100000. We sat there for over an hour to talk about how I can become exactly what I want . I won't lie, part of the conversation scared me because I never in my life actually spoke about executing my ideas to someone. I usually tell people what I have in mind and people are usually against them, if I'm being quite honest, or there for them. Very refreshing to get motivation as well as tactics to grow.
I asked someone else who is successfully doing what he wants creatively if he had the same issues as far a having naysayers when he told them his ideas. He straight told me that he didn't tell anyone what he wanted to do until he actually did it. Once things were already happening ,no one around could deny how bomb it was. I think that is a genius approach to things.
Naturally we want to tell people what we are doing, and naturally if the people we look to the most for support disagrees or give negative input we shut down. Yes ,we deviate from things all the time but sometimes you just want certain people to be on board and when they're not, you sometimes stop unfortunately. I digress.
I wrote all of that to say I am proud of my growth , and realization this year. I am happy that I am finally on the road to doing what I want to do . I'm ready to "fuck shit up" for lack of better words. I look forward to meeting more like minded people and being known for being exactly myself . People have been telling me I'm coming into my own . That may be true . I look at it a me just accepting my flaws and awkwardness and owning it . I'm happy for this journey.
Long ass blog for nothing. SHRUGS
Naturally we want to tell people what we are doing, and naturally if the people we look to the most for support disagrees or give negative input we shut down. Yes ,we deviate from things all the time but sometimes you just want certain people to be on board and when they're not, you sometimes stop unfortunately. I digress.
I wrote all of that to say I am proud of my growth , and realization this year. I am happy that I am finally on the road to doing what I want to do . I'm ready to "fuck shit up" for lack of better words. I look forward to meeting more like minded people and being known for being exactly myself . People have been telling me I'm coming into my own . That may be true . I look at it a me just accepting my flaws and awkwardness and owning it . I'm happy for this journey.
Long ass blog for nothing. SHRUGS
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